i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
