So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
