hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
