So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
