PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
