those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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