Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
