they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
