Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
