Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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