You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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