I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
