You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you win again, gameday.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
