oh god the rape fog is back!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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