You just made me feel so damn special
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
