Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
