i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
