it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can text with my tongue
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
