I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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