drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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