Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
