you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
