tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Drunk is not a location!
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