haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
