I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
