8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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