hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
