the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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