jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
