his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Randomize
