I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
