I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
