I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All the doctor said was why
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
