i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
