But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
