id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
