She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if only i could text you this smell
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
