her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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