I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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