sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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