Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize