Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
