So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I want to have your abortion
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
