Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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