i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
