i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
