spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
