R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
