If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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