And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That reminds me...we need to get swords
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
