i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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