I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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